I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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