im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
