She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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