You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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