Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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