We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
