Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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