my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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