she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
