if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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