they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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