Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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