is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
