you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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