This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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