I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think my vagina is haunted
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
