They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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