i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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