Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.