Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
50% drunk capacity currently
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
