Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
