I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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