Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
