I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
