Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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