is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
