Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
