party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize