the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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