She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
