Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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