And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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