Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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