love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
