WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
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You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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