I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
