doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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