Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
