this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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