no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
