it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
