Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
