Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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