Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
