my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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