Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
