C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
