im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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