I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
