dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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