i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We had sex on a dog bed..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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