Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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