My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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