fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
