I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
