i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
