Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
