my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have aggressive nipples.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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