I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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