we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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