I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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